Searching

In darkness
lies the whole
of who I once was.
Cloaked
in shadows
seemingly allergic
to the light.
Wearing fear
like a blanket
draped over my soul.
Even now
I find myself
in that familiar place
all too often.
But occasionally
there is color
and laughter
and for just a moment
life ceases
to mock me.
I wish
that I could
name that place
and claim it
for a while
or forever.