Monday, October 31, 2016


Flesh and bone
Not steel and stone
So afraid
To be alone.
Infinitely fragile
So easy to dispose
With each imagined slight
Insecurity grows.
Important for a day
Then oh-so easy to throw away.
Why the fuck
Must I feel this way?

Saturday, October 29, 2016


I need
far more than I should.
All the love
in the whole wide world
will never be enough.
I am
so easy to forget
to leave behind
that it is a wonder
why I even try.
Heart wide open
eyes wide shut
waiting for the inevitable.
if I am lucky
but more often than not
just gone you are
me left behind
in the rubble
baffled as always
as to what happened
and why I am
alone again
wondering why
I do not deserve
for you to stay.

Rabbit Hole

Deeper into the abyss
Story of my life

Thursday, October 27, 2016


Peaceful earth angel
In awe of your dignity
Now and for always.

Tuesday, October 25, 2016

Sad Feels

Feeling stupid
and small
though I am bright
and quite tall
and I would much prefer
at this moment
to feel nothing
at all.

Heart Hurt

My heart hurts
as if all my years
of secret pain
have decided 
to reveal themselves 
at once.
Breathing feels hard
almost as if
it isn't worth the effort.
But I know 
that is my illness talking
trying to mask the truth
as it always does.
I hate this feeling.
It's as if I have
no control
over anything
including my own mind
and to a degree
that is true.
I want 
so much
to be unbroken
but despite 
all the tape and glue
I can never get 
my pieces
to fit together correctly.
I do not want to hurt
I do not want to cry
I do not want to want
and I certainly 
do not want to need
but I do.
I need you 
to stay with me
and hold my hand
and promise me
that everything will be okay
that I am okay
no matter how not okay 
I feel.
Please don't give up on me
I'm begging you
and me, too.

Monday, October 24, 2016


Stagnant for so long
I never
thought it possible
that I would ever
become who I am
let alone
actually find
that she is someone
I kinda sorta like.
with fear
so damn certain
that what everyone else had
and who they were
was so much fucking greater
than I would ever have
or be.
What a fool I was.
The transformation
took place
at a snail's pace
while simultaneously
in an eye-blink.
Seemingly impossible
but altogether true.
It will never be
something I can explain
and frankly
I do not even want to try.
All I know
is that it happened
it IS happening
every second
of every day
for the rest
of my life
and I am grateful
beyond words
that I did not leave
the party of life
too soon.

Friday, October 21, 2016


Time bends
but does not break.
I wish
I could say the same
about myself
but I am
far more fragile
and far less flexible.

Wednesday, October 19, 2016

Insomnia = #Micropoetry

I want to live
the life I see
through rose-colored glasses.

Inching towards my self
at a snail's pace or kid's crawl
soon, I will arrive.

You had best believe
that I am still becoming
everything and more.

Really want to sleep
alas, it's not happening.
Well-played, restless mind.

Sunday, October 2, 2016


What is the answer
when everything goes wrong
and you find yourself
drowning on dry land?
What keeps your heart beating
your lungs breathing
your mind maybe believing?
Where do you look
when you forget where you begin
want to cash it in
engage in mortal sin?
Look within
the answer is you
and by you
I mean
me too.


It's cute
the way you still think
you can still fool me
hold me back
make me feel small
alter the eyes through which
I see myself.
You enjoy 
that hollow supposed victory
your alleged triumph
while I smile
somewhere you will never see
knowing the truth.
You only had that power
when I lent it to you
and little do you know
I took it back
long ago
and you will never
see it again.


Just when I thought
I was finally numb
I was struck dumb
by the agonizing pain
of your knife
stabbing me
in the back.