Transformation

Stagnant for so long

immovable
unchangeable.
I never
thought it possible
that I would ever
become who I am
let alone
actually find
that she is someone
I kinda sorta like.
Paralyzed
with fear
blinders
ever-present
so damn certain
that what everyone else had
and who they were
was so much fucking greater
than I would ever have
or be.
What a fool I was.
The transformation
took place
at a snail's pace
while simultaneously
in an eye-blink.
Seemingly impossible
but altogether true.
It will never be
something I can explain
and frankly
I do not even want to try.
All I know
is that it happened
it IS happening
every second
of every day
for the rest
of my life
and I am grateful
beyond words
that I did not leave
the party of life
too soon.