I am deeply missing my brother today. No particular reason why, really, I just am. I miss who he was before the addiction began. I even miss who he was in the midst of it, during those brief moments of clarity that punctuated the madness. I will never forget the pain and there was much of it but I forgive him for it. I know now that it was the addiction talking and acting and not my brother. Of course, this is where the healing begins. Unfortunately, this is also where the true pain begins.