Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Just when you think you know someone...

I like to think that I'm not easily surprised anymore. I try not to expect much from people, figuring that way, they can't really disappoint me. A great plan in theory but in practice, not so much. My husband has often said to me that just because someone is your friend doesn't mean they're your BEST friend. He's right, of course, but I still invest too much, emotionally, in each and every friendship I make. If someone gets past my initial guard into the "friendship" zone, I tend to trust too much and believe that I am as important to them as they, sometimes quickly, become to me. I lose sight of the fact that not every friend "gets" me. Not every friend can be relied upon to be there through thick and thin. Friendships grow, evolve and sometimes die and I have to learn not to blame myself for that. Some people can't see past their own lives and feelings to appreciate what others must deal with on a daily basis. Some people get so caught up in their own bliss that they either lose compassion for, or just no longer want to be bothered with, people who don't or can't live in their "happy" bubble. I must try to remember that those people must live with themselves and the choices they make, as must I. If people lose their compassion, that's on them, NOT on me, and I must wish them well on their life's journey as I'd hope they'd wish me on mine. Even if they don't, that's got to be okay, too. I have to learn to focus on the people who do love and care about me, warts and all, and NOT the ones who do not. A tough lesson and a painful one, too, but ultimately, if I learn it, I will become stronger and more powerful. As Dr. Seuss once said, "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."


  1. Hopefully my comment will post this time.
    I understand exactly what you are saying Kari and it is a hard position to be in - relying on friends to provide things they are not capable of as they are so wrapped up in their own 'happy bubble' and can't see how difficult it is to not feel like that. If only they knew how much a small act of friendship picks you up - just to know someone is there and cares.

  2. Yes, a little compassion goes a long way. Fortunately, we have each other. Xoxo