Dear Me

Let me begin by saying that what you have overcome thus far in your life would be insurmountable for many. Even though you are often your own worst enemy, I want you to keep this in mind throughout this letter.

You are not your past.  Hell, you weren't even your past when you were living it.  Your self-perception has always been vastly different from the way other people perceive you.  You know this, first-hand, so stop judging yourself based on who you thought you once were.  Even if you had been that girl, you're not anymore.  It's okay, even vital, to let that go.

You are brave.  As I said, you have overcome many things in your life that would have taken down a weaker or less-determined person.  Be proud of that.  You know how to persevere, you do it every day.  Allow yourself time to revel in that, even if it is only for a moment or two, every once in a while.

You are kind.  You have always prided yourself on being kinder to others than they often are to you.  That is both a good and bad thing. Clearly, treating others well is a wonderful thing.  However, allowing others to treat you with less care and respect than you deserve is not. Likewise, treating yourself that way.

You are smart.  This, for some reason, is the one thing about yourself that you haven't often doubted but it's a real asset so it bears repeating. YOU...ARE...SMART.

You are worthy.  Yes, people define "worthiness" in different ways but regardless of the exact definition, you're it, girl.  You're worthy of kindness, respect and love.  Don't settle for any less.

Please try to remember these things.  Re-read this as often as necessary.  Hell, re-read it more often than necessary.  It can't hurt and it's far too easy for you to forget.

Lastly, don't try so hard.  In most areas, trying hard is a virtue and commendable.  Not so when you try too hard to make people love you.  If you have to work for your love, it isn't authentic and is therefore not worth troubling yourself over.  There are many who love you exactly as you are at this very moment.  This doesn't mean you shouldn't continue improving yourself every day but it does mean that love you have to beg for isn't worth having.

This is, perhaps, the most difficult thing for me to say but is probably the one thing you most need to hear.  I love you.  Truly, I do, and you deserve nothing less.

With everything good in my heart,
Kari

Closer

Darkness
so familiar
and treacherous
I know you are sorry
to see me go
but it is well past time
for us to part ways.
Light beckons
no longer elusive
but inching closer
with each passing day
resplendent with rainbows
and cloudless skies
calling my name.

Let's Begin

For a girl
far too familiar
with fear
fractured fantasies
and loneliness
there are few words
more beautiful
than a sincerely uttered
and deeply felt
hello.

Metamorphosis

It feels so strange
not to question
the change
but to simply
be grateful
it's here.
It is time
to believe
to embrace
to receive
and to be
who I am
without fear.